Wreck This Journal

On Pinterest the other day, I discovered  "Wreck This Journal".
I had seen it referred to before but wasn't until the other day that I realized it was actually a thing.
I started to investigate and today I went and bought one. 
It wasn't expensive.  Less than $15.

I can tell you already ... it's going to be $14.95 well spent!

I have only had it for 8 hours and already I love it!

 

The whole premise of the book is this ... it's meant to be imperfect.  It is meant to be wrecked.  It's not a "write your feelings in it" journal.  It's not a "draw awesome things that you want to keep forever" journal.  It tells you what to do ... and challenges you to think outside the box, if you will.

Eight weeks ago I couldn't have even considered doing something like this.  In another eight weeks I might just tell you why I can now ...

Instructions #1 ... carry this with you everywhere you go.
Today, I did.
I had it in my purse when I went to the grocery store.
I had it in my pocket when I was doing the gardening.

Well, I had it in my pocket until I pulled it out to RUB DIRT on one of the pages!

I cannot even begin to explain to you how liberating that was! 

I felt so free.

And then I added a flower. 
A real, live, pretty smelling flower.
I decided I would try to press it and let it dry in my journal ...

But the flower didn't like that. 
Not one little bit. 
And so I have a little yellow reminder that on the opposite page but no pressed flower.

And I'm totally ok with it!

**

I can't wait to share some more pages with you! 
The next one will be brought to you by a brand new pack of Crayola 24 Crayons!!

I {hope} you dance ...

I wrote this post a little more than a year ago ...
And
I was thinking about it tonight.
Thinking about my life and marveling that FINALLY I can say
I AM DANCING
Truly dancing ... the way I was meant to.
The way I always have.
The way I wondered why I wasn't anymore.

And I'm thankful.

***

Here's the original post ... and ... if you have 5 minutes and 03 seconds ... listen to the song.

Really listen.

And ask yourself ... when you get the choice, do you dance ?

I hope so ...

***
January 21, 2009

I heard this song for the first time tonight and just have to share it.

I've had it on repeat for about an hour. Good thing Rory has long since gone to bed.
He's not keen on the whole repeat thing !

Push play. Listen to the words.

Do you dance ?

Do I ?

Not for a long time.
Except at home.

It started at the beginning of our life here in Australia.
For the first time ever, in all of my traveling of the world, in all of my life ...
I felt like I didn't belong.
Like I wasn't able to be me and have people like me.

There started a long journey of me pulling back.
Of hiding.
Definitely not dancing.

Loneliness is a terrifying thing.
I'm not lonely anymore.
But I was.
For many years.
Desperately lonely.
And not able to dance ...

Here I sit, in tears.
Trying to express something that I can't.
Not in words.
Not to anyone who hasn't walked this journey with me.

I want to dance.
I'm close.
My arms are spread.
My heart is open.
My outlook is bright.

I just need ... to dance.

When I get the choice ... to dance !!

I Hope You Dance
LeAnn Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

Truth

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, it is the realization of how much you already have. " ~annonymous~

Sharing Tiny Teapots

A few days ago I mentioned feeling like I needed to make some changes.
I've been doing lots of thinking.
Processing.
Planning.
Yesterday I got the kids involved.
I'll post about that later in the week ...

One of the things I've really been feeling is the need to SLOW DOWN.

Life is busy.
That probably won't change.
But do I need to be running around at a hectic pace ?
Constantly frantic ?
I don't think so.

In the midst of the busyness, I'm scheduling in slow times.

One of the things I have decided is that I will walk the children to and from school everyday.
They ride their bikes. I walk.
The weather will be cooling soon so it will become quite pleasant.

It's not a long walk.
Probably takes us 10/15 minutes to get there.
That makes a 30 minute walk for me ... twice a day.
And half of that walk, I'm on my own.

This morning, I just looked at all the flowers

and birds

and clouds

and blue sky ...

It was nice.
Cleared my head.
Got my blood pumpin'.
A perfect way to start the morning.
Slowly ...

I've got more to share but it's time to head out to the school !
We'll talk more tomorrow.

For now though, why don't you tell me how you handle the busyness ?
Do you have intentionally slow times during your day or do you just go go go ?

Sharing Our Story

Some of you who have followed me from my old blogs will have read this before ...
But I thought I'd post it again here.
I love our story !

I love this photo of us ! It was taken at a children's camp in Vladivostok ... but we'll get to that later. Let's start this story at the beginning.

~

It's 1993, May, I'm on a train in Japan traveling to the base of Mt. Fuji where I am to attend a Kings Kids leadership ( of sorts ) retreat. We weren't leaders, per say, we were just the older kids in the group. Half way there, I am meeting my friend Joe with whom I am to travel the rest of the way. He has a friend with him. This is the first time I met Rory. People have different opinions on "love at first sight". Maybe it happens, maybe it doesn't. But somewhere in the deepest part of my heart, I knew from that first meeting that I had met my husband to be.

~

Fast forward to the end of July 1993. We are leaving for Russia. I have only seen Rory one or two times since May, for rehersals. We plan to meet up on the train again and travel together. ( He lived on the other side of Tokyo from where I lived in Yokohama - there was a 2 hour train trip between our two houses ! )

~

We weren't looking for a relationship. Rory was 15. I was 19. Of course, I didn't ask his age at first ... and like everyone else in the world, I assumed he was older than me. He looked and even acted older. We spent a lot of time together. We enjoyed each others company. As well ... we were the only two who didn't speak Japanese. There were others who spoke Japanese AND English but we only spoke bits of Japanese.

~

The first few days of our trip were spent in Toyama Japan at "boot camp". We slept in tents for a couple of nights then moved to some sort of group facility where we had bunk beds and Japanese baths. ( you know ... everyone together ) I wasn't thrilled at the prospect of this so I didn't bathe at first. That got a bit RIPE so one night I ran down as fast as I could when the bath's opened and gave myself a good scrub. I was just finished getting dressed when the cleaning ladies came in screaming at me. I didn't understand why til later when I found out I had been in the MEN'S BATH !!!!!

~

This first photo is in Toyama. It is me and our friend Eiko.

Here is the boat we traveled on. The Antonina Nezhdanova. We left August 6th and arrived August 8th. It was two nights and if I remember correctly, three full days. The nights were the worst. If I was on deck, in the fresh air, I was fine. Once I got down below, where the beds were, I started blowing chunks ! I tried Pepto-Bismol but that just made the chunks PINK ! This photo was taken as we were leaving ... aren't the streamers cool ? I used to love that on The Love Boat (remember that show ?) when they'd pull out of a port somewhere and throw streamers ... it was just as fun as I thought it would be !! Lived up to my every childhood streamer throwing expectation !

Here's the view from the boat. Should I be calling it a ship ? I don't know. What's the difference between a boat and a ship, anyway? I should probably know, being the sailor's daughter that I am !! Rory and I are the two in blue shirts that are not facing forward but rather a bit sideways.

*** EDITED to add the comment that my dad made the first time I posted this .... "As father of the sailor's daughter, I s'pose I should take the question about the difference between a boat and a ship. It was considered a serious faux pas in the Navy to call a ship a boat! The rule of thumb is this: if the vessel goes under water, it is a boat (i.e. a submarine is a boat); if it can be carried on another vessel, it is a boat (e.g. a life boat); otherwise, it's a ship! Love, Dad (USN-Retired)!" ***

LAND !!!! Boy were we glad to see dry land ! Three days on a boat/ship is a LOOONG time. I am glad I live in the days of airplanes. I can't imagine the trip the Pilgrim's made ! (and without Pepto Bismol !!)

First stop, Vladivostok. Or Baaanboctok as my eyes read that sign writen in Russian !

Here is a map I found that shows you were we were.

I love this photo. And this memory. We were on a bus. We took a lot of buses ! Anyway, this one day we were on this one bus and there was a KITTEN on the bus ! It didn't belong to anyone on the bus, it was just hitchin' a ride to who knows where ! Being the cat lover that I am, it was such a special thing for me to get to cuddle with this soft, little kitten, that purred away as it sat in my pocket !!
The first little while we were in Russia, we stayed in a children's summer camp. I have no idea how many kids stayed there but it was a fair few. I loved being at this place ! The kids were so curious and friendly. They always wanted to be with us.

~

We did various performances and visited other children's camps in the area. If you haven't had a look at the King's Kids link above you may not know what sort of performances. Our group was about 20 people ( I think ... it's been a long time ago now !! ) that varied in age from about 8 - 20 years old. We danced. We sang. We helped out where we could be of use. We hung out and spent time with people. We shared stories of our lives, answered questions, prayed with people and hoped that it made some sort of difference in their lives.

The second city we visited was Khabarovsk. Here's me and Rory in front of the Vladivostok train station ... getting ready for the LONG train ride to Khabarovsk.

Here's the two of us on the train. I love this photo too !!

Here's a bunch of us ... posing for a photo ... as you do when you have lots of time to kill at a Russian train station!

This is us having lunch with some people from a church we performed at.

And this is one of my all time favorite photos ! It's me, Lisa and Rory. Someone took this of us in the mirror we were laying in front of.
So ... how many of you have had church under the stars, in an empty swimming pool, on a Russian boat sailing from Russia to Japan ? We have and it was AMAZING !!

~

I'm pretty sure this is the night that Rory and I stayed out on the deck and watched the moon turn blood red and disappear beneath the ocean !! We got in trouble for staying out too late !!!

Back on Japanese soil. This was waiting for our train back to Tokyo. What are we doing ? Dancing, of course. What do you do when you are waiting for the train ?! :)

Here's another one of the team performing at Shibuya Fukuin Kyokai - the church that I attended in Tokyo.
By the time we got back from Russia, Rory and I were both pretty sure that we would one day be married. There were some obvious objections to our age difference. Cutting a very long and complicated story short ... we waited four years. I was 24 and Rory was 20 when we got married. We spent two and a half years of that on different sides of the world ! My original plan was to do a School of Worship (YWAM) in Hawaii, where I did my Discipleship Training School (DTS), but a few months after I was accepted, it was canceled. The plan changed and I had to leave Japan before I turned 21 as there is a Navy regulation about dependent children not being able to live in base housing after their 21st birthday. My Aunt Lissa and Tio Antonio invited me to come live with them and their two sons in Colorado so off I went. I fell in love with that State the moment I got out of the airport and saw those MOUNTAINS !!!! Rory, in the meantime did his DTS in Denver, went on outreach to India, went to Australia to do some more schooling and start University. Long distance relationships STINK and we hit our fair share of bumps in the road but we made it !!!! It will be 10 years in December that we've been married and those beginning bumps and the healing of them have made us stronger. I love my husband 14 years more than those moments in Russia where our relationship started and 75 years less than how much I'll love him when we are old and grey ! He is the best gift ever given to me and I treasure him.

***EDITED again ... we just had our 11th anniversary !! ***

~

And that's our story in a nutshell ... an American girl and an Australian boy, met in Japan, fell in love in Russia, got married in Colorado and now live in Australia !!

Sharing The Dance

~

I heard this song for the first time tonight and just have to share it.

I've had it on repeat for about an hour. Good thing Rory has long since gone to bed.
He's not keen on the whole repeat thing !

Push play. Listen to the words.

Do you dance ?

Do I ?

Not for a long time.
Except at home.

It started at the beginning of our life here in Australia.
For the first time ever, in all of my traveling of the world, in all of my life ...
I felt like I didn't belong.
Like I wasn't able to be me and have people like me.

There started a long journey of me pulling back.
Of hiding.
Definitely not dancing.

Loneliness is a terrifying thing.
I'm not lonely anymore.
But I was.
For many years.
Desperately lonely.
And not able to dance ...

Here I sit, in tears.
Trying to express something that I can't.
Not in words.
Not to anyone who hasn't walked this journey with me.

I want to dance.
I'm close.
My arms are spread.
My heart is open.
My outlook is bright.

I just need ... to dance.

When I get the choice ... to dance !!

I Hope You Dance
LeAnn Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)