Quinoa, again? But I want hot chips!

 

Last week I wrote about an event that really impacted me. You can go read the whole post to find out what the event was but here is the action I am taking ....

"I thought about it all day yesterday.  About the choices I have.  The choices I continually make.  Will I eat out?  Will I eat at home?  Will I buy a snack because I'm a little bit peckish?  Will I eat the lunch that I brought to work or will I just discard it and buy something else? And those choices are just about food ... but they are choices.  And I have power over how I chose.

Often I'll make a choice and then feel bad about it.  But, whatever, I get over it and move on.  I started to wonder what would happen if my choice had another side to it.  Like ... I can buy that snack, or I can save what I would have spent on that snack.  Not for myself.  But for someone else.  What if by making a different choice, I could actually make life better for someone else?  Sounds crazy but a $3 bag of chips is 10 days salary for the boy who has decided it's better not to dream ...

So, this is where I am going to start.  With my choices.  I'm making a budget category called "CHOICE" ... and every time I make the choice NOT to buy something indulgent or unnecessary, I'm going to transfer what I would have spent into that 'envelope'.   Does that mean that I'll never again buy a hot chocolate from my favorite cafe?  Probably not.  Does that mean I need to feel guilty if I do?  I don't think so.  What it does mean is that I will make more conscious decisions about this sort of spending."

 

It's been an interesting week.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if I would really be impacted by something so small.  I have been.  I wondered if it would really change the way I think. It is.  I wondered if I would make any choice for someone else, rather than just making excuses for why I should think about myself instead.  I did.  I didn't think about my attitude ... that has come as a bit of a surprise, but we'll get to that in a minute.

 

This week I didn't buy hot chocolate.  It's winter here so that is HUGE for me!  One time I just didn't buy it, one time I made one at home and took it to work.  I didn't even have to miss out that day but I still transferred the money into my choice account.  Another day I was putting gas in the car and they had tic tacs on sale.  I had an 'urge' to buy them.  Immediately I thought "that's $2 to go into my choice account.".  It was no biggie.  But, previously, I would have bought them.  

 

These choices weren't hard. 

 

Friday.  Friday was the day where one of the choices was hard.  I really really really wanted to buy hot chips.  A few people had them in the office and it was all I could smell!  But I had packed myself a lunch. I had leftover quinoa salad for the THIRD DAY IN A ROW.  I was so over this salad.  It was still tasty.  And I changed it up by adding feta that day, but still, I wanted to throw it away and eat hot chips instead.  I wrestled and wrestled.

And I felt spoiled.  

Not in a good way.

Really?  I had to eat a delicious, fresh, healthy salad ... packed full of fresh veggies and goodness for lunch another day ... and this was a problem?   Not to mention that in between these lunches I had eaten something different for dinner and breakfast and then another dinner and breakfast.  Probably some snacks too. 

My thoughts took me back to a book I had read about a girl who grew up in a third world country.  Hers was a poor family who could barely afford food.  They ate the same, bland, cold, nasty, pasty, grain EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Every meal ... unless, of course, they didn't have any, in which case, they went hungry.

I ate my quinoa.  

I transferred $8 to my choice account.

But not with a great attitude.

I'm still working on that.

I think that is possibly going to be the hardest part of this whole journey ...

Snowpeas

Our snow peas have flowered!

I'm super excited as they are pretty much the only thing, besides some lettuce,

and some tomatoes that are STUNTED, that I've planted this year.

We are thinking about doing some reno's on the back patio and that means one of the 

garden beds will be re-located.  I see no point planting in the current bed if

it is just going to be pulled out!!  

The Boy From Baby House 10

 

The Boy From Baby House 10 is one of those books that you love reading because the story is so well told, it's also one of those books that you cannot say you loved because the story is nothing short of horrific.  And more so because it is true.

His name was Vanya back then ... when he was an orphan in Russia.  His name now ... John Luhutsky.

I love what the inside cover says about this book ... "The Boy From Baby House 10 is a harrowing but ultimately uplifting story - proof that people seemingly without power can challenge and beat a cruel system."  

Vanya was completely and utterly helpless ... born prematurely and with cerebral palsy he was mistakenly diagnosed as mentally handicapped, abandoned by his alcoholic birth mother at 18 months old, left in a cot to do nothing for the next three or four years of his life, after which his situation just worsened.  He was all but ignored except for a very few people who had minimal contact with him and eventually were instrumental in helping him escape ...  His life was full of neglect, confusion and abuse at the hands of people who were supposed to be medical professionals and his carers  BUT ... and this is the part that I love ... he never gave up.  No one taught him not to give up.  He just didn't.  He seemed to have been born with an uncrushable spirit.

And a gift ... 

A gift his friend Vika describes like this: "Vanya has an amazing and rare gift that saved his life - the gift of connecting with people.  He immediately remembers your name and knows how to talk to you.  Talking to him is a treat for the soul." 

He taught himself, and others, how to talk.  He reached out at any opportunity, longing for human contact.  He chose to hold onto and think about the few good moments and human interactions he had experienced during the long hours that he was left to do nothing. 

This is a recent story.  John was born in 1990.  I wondered after I read the book if there was more info on him on line.  There is.  Last night I sat for just under two hours watching video footage of him telling his story ... Part 1 ... Part 2.  And also the story as it was shared on Dateline, with footage from the actual baby house and mental asylum where he was kept.

The story is difficult to hear, but not even a fragment as difficult as it would have been to live. 

It's a story that gives me hope.

It's a story worth reading ...

Christmas Gifts /// Homemade

I decided that I wanted to do homemade gifts for our extended family this past Christmas.
It was super fun, and everyone appeared to like their gifts. 

Here's what I made ...

Vanilla Extract
It's super easy ... here's the "recipe" on my cooking blog.

Meusli

And Pistachio Dukkah.

**

I had some address labels and I found that Avery has little templates that you can

use to print out some pretty cute labels ... so, I did that and labeled them all

**

I assembled them differently for different families
One went into a little bike for the garden ..

Another on a little plastic serving tray.

Another in a garden pot.

And the last as a side to another gift.

The Adoption

 

"I was fourteen when I found out that I was adopted. 
I returned home from school one day, and Mother said that she needed to speak to me. 

And then she told me - just like that. 
And what I felt was not shock or grief, but the most enormous sense of relief."

The Adoption
by Anne Berry

A story told from the perspective of three different women.

Lucilla ... the woman who was adopted as an infant. 

Harriet ... the woman who adopted her.

Bethan ... the woman who was 

not given any choice in 

the matter of 

giving 

up

her baby

girl, Lucilla.

I have such mixed feelings about this book.  It's the sort of book I enjoy.  It is beautifully written.  I was interested in the story the whole time,  captivated even, I wanted to know what was going to happen. How it was going to end. It was great.  Until I read the final page and closed the book.  I was holding out hope for a certain ending and it never came! I felt angry, like there was no resolution.  Like this whole lifetime of struggle had been for nothing.  But maybe that is the way the author wanted me to feel.  Maybe that was the point.  Maybe it's reality.  Maybe it's why I would recommend you read this book ....

Corner {Out and About} View

The theme this week: Out and About

I took this photo just the other night when I was out and about - in my front yard!  I just love the late afternoon/early evening sky at this time of year!  Don't you?

**

Corner View was created by Jane at Spain Daily and is now hosted by Francesca.  It is bloggers from all over the world, posting photos of a specific weekly theme.  To join, just post to your own blog and then link up over at Francesca's Corner View for the week.  Then, visit the other Corner Views ... that's my favorite part !  Seeing the interpretations of the themes, visiting different cultures, learning something new !

start small. think big.

 

Yesterday, many churches across Australia took part in Compassion Sunday. Ours was one of them.  I came away inspired.  Inspired by this one statement.  'start small.  think big.'

I find, when I am participant in one of these sorts of events that I am always ALWAYS touched emotionally.  Operation Christmas Child ... when we watch a video of a child who would never otherwise have received a gift, opening a shoe box, I am reduced to tears.  Watoto Childrens Choir ... when I've seen them performed and listened to their stories of hopelessness and despair, I am reduced to tears.  

But really, what good are my tears?

Unless they spur me towards action.

Yesterday I sat and watched, once again in tears, confronted with the reality that more than 1.4 billion people in the developing world live below the poverty line (U.S.$1.25 per day) and that EVERY YEAR more than 9 million children under the age of 5 die. Two-thirds of these deaths — more than 6 million every year — are preventable,  and one third of them are from malnutrition. 923 million people worldwide are undernourished, and there are more than 9 million deaths related to hunger each year. 

I've heard this stuff before.  I've shed tears about it before.  Who hasn't?

But what good are my tears?  

Without action.

1.4 billion people ... that's a whole lot of people who need help ... who need someone to do something.  That's a whole lot of overwhelming hopelessness.  It's intimidating and daunting.  It's probably easier to just do nothing. 

One of the videos we watched yesterday is called Soundarya's story (you can download the full version here if you want to see it, just scroll down to the bottom of the page and you'll see links to a few videos.) In the video there was a boy, probably not much older than my boy.  He and his brothers work with their Dad doing back breaking, mind numbing work, for less than .30c a day.  At one point the boy said this "I do have dreams for a better future, but my dreams will never come true, so let me not have any dreams at all."  

That is not ok with me.  So the question I ask myself is ... how can I just do nothing?

I can't.

But what can I do?

I can start small ...

And I'm going to.  

I thought about it all day yesterday.  About the choices I have.  The choices I continually make.  Will I eat out?  Will I eat at home?  Will I buy a snack because I'm a little bit peckish?  Will I eat the lunch that I brought to work or will I just discard it and buy something else? And those choices are just about food ... but they are choices.  And I have power over how I chose.

Often I'll make a choice and then feel bad about it.  But, whatever, I get over it and move on.  I started to wonder what would happen if my choice had another side to it.  Like ... I can buy that snack, or I can save what I would have spent on that snack.  Not for myself.  But for someone else.  What if by making a different choice, I could actually make life better for someone else?  Sounds crazy but a $3 bag of chips is 10 days salary for the boy who has decided it's better not to dream ...

So, this is where I am going to start.  With my choices.  I'm making a budget category called "CHOICE" ... and every time I make the choice NOT to buy something indulgent or unnecessary, I'm going to transfer what I would have spent into that 'envelope'.   Does that mean that I'll never again buy a hot chocolate from my favorite cafe?  Probably not.  Does that mean I need to feel guilty if I do?  I don't think so.  What it does mean is that I will make more conscious decisions about this sort of spending.  

Yesterday, we went directly from church to buy school shoes for the kids.  I was ready to eat ... I'd say I was starving, but really ... not in the true meaning.  Normally I would have just grabbed us something to eat, knowing full well that we'd be home to a fridge full of leftovers, in just an hour.

But I didn't.  I couldn't.  

There is now $20 in my CHOICE envelope.

I hope that in time, it will lead to something bigger ... 

For now ... I'm choosing to start small.  

But, at the very least, I'm choosing to start ....

Corner View {flowers}

I was going to take some photos today of these flowers in our front garden.


But it is raining.


  So I'll share these ones I took the other day.


I just love when they are in bloom!

**

Corner View was created by Jane at Spain Daily and is now hosted by Francesca.  It is bloggers from all over the world, posting photos of a specific weekly theme.  To join, just post to your own blog and then link up over at Francesca's Corner View for the week.  Then, visit the other Corner Views ... that's my favorite part !  Seeing the interpretations of the themes, visiting different cultures, learning something new !

Corner View {one day in my life}

the theme of this week's corner view is 'one day in my life'.  i chose today.  my day off.  it's different every week.  here's how it looked this week ....

wrote a blog post.  a book review.
took the kids to school.



made a to do list.
made (and ate) scrambled eggs.



re-organized the pans.  and tupperware.
(to make room for the new pans i was given for my birthday)



made our bed.
wore out the puppy.



washed and hung copious amounts of laundry.
and then went about with the regular afternoon routine
and forgot to take any more photos!
oops!

**

Corner View was created by Jane at Spain Daily and is now hosted by Francesca.  It is bloggers from all over the world, posting photos of a specific weekly theme.  To join, just post to your own blog and then link up over at Francesca's Corner View for the week.  Then, visit the other Corner Views ... that's my favorite part !  Seeing the interpretations of the themes, visiting different cultures, learning something new !

The Storyteller

 

 "History isn't about dates and places and wars.
It's about the people who fill the spaces between them." Jodi Picoult, The Storyteller

The characters are fictitious but the subject matter is not.  A German man at the end of his life, a Jewish girl, in the early stages of hers, strike up an unlikely friendship.  In a bid to get her to help him end his life, his horrifying story unfolds. A story that had a life changing effect on six million Jews, the grandmother of this young Jewish girl being one of them.

In true Picoult fashion, this book is full of intertwining lives, twists and turns, quotes that you want to write down and remember forever, and a subject matter that leaves you questioning what you would do in the same situation. 

I read the following section of the book about three or four times.  I just had to go back again and again.  My thoughts went nuts with the imagery and the concept.  I'm still not sure I can completely wrap my head around it.

"One morning after a storm, when the snow had blanketed the camp, Darija and I stepped outside the block to march to work.  We shuffled behind other women, all wrapped in ragged layers, freezing.  The path which we took every day, marched us along the far side of the fence at the entrance ramp to the camp.  Sometimes we would see the new railroad cars arriving: sometimes there was a selection going on as we passed.  Sometimes we shuffled past a line of people waiting for the shower they would not survive.

That day as we passed, a new group of prisoners was being belched out of one of the cars.  They stood like we had on the platform, carrying their belongings, yelling out names of loved ones.

Suddenly, we saw her.

She was dressed from head to toe in white silk.  On her head, a veil streamed out behind her in the cold wind.  She was looking around, even as she was herded into line for the selection.

The rest of us women all stopped, riveted by this sight.

It was, unbelievably, not the most depressing thing we had ever seen: a bride, ripped from her own wedding, separated from her groom, and put on a transport to Auschwitz. 

On the contrary, it gave us hope.

It meant that no matter what was happening in this camp, no matter how many Jews they managed to round up and kill, there were still more of us out there: living lives, falling in love, getting married, assuming that tomorrow would come."

I would recommend this book to most people.  It's well written and in that sense, easy to read.  At the same time, it's confronting and has left me unsettled.  Just the way it should be.  There is no sense to be made of the Holocaust.  There is no box to put it in.  No pretty bow to mask the ugly that it was.  There are no answers to the questions.  There is an unsettling.

And there is hope.

"After I was dressed in the clean clothing - soft cotton and wool, as if I had been wrapped in a cloud - she brought another bucket of clean water, and a bar of soap and washed my hair for me.  She used her fingers to scrub out the mud, and she cut the mats that could not be worked free.  Then she sat behind me, the way my mother used to do, and brushed it.

Sometimes all it takes to become human again is someone who can see you that way, no matter how you present on the surface."

Thursday's Books { 11 }

I'm excited about my pile of books this week!
I've already started "The Storyteller" and thought I'm only a chapter in, I'm enjoying it.

**

I would love to see your pile of books !  Just take a photo of your library books ... post it somewhere ... anywhere (!) ... facebook, instagram (#thursdaysbooks), flickr, photobucket ... your blog ... and then come leave me a comment so I can come see.

So, tell me ... what are you reading ?  And have you visited your library lately ?

Corner View {Birds}

The theme for this week is birds. 

I.LOVE.BIRDS.  I take lots of photos of birds!  LOTS.  

Today, I took some photos of my puppy ... after he was barking at the birds! 

It's a good thing he is so cute!  

But seriously ... does anyone have any tricks for how 

to teach your puppy that birds are not something to bark at?!

Here are some bird photos that I've taken that appear elsewhere on my blog ...

**

Corner View was created by Jane at Spain Daily and is now hosted by Francesca.  It is bloggers from all over the world, posting photos of a specific weekly theme.  To join, just post to your own blog and then link up over at Francesca's Corner View for the week.  Then, visit the other Corner Views ... that's my favorite part !  Seeing the interpretations of the themes, visiting different cultures, learning something new !

the best {SURPRISE} ever!

Not only did Rory throw me the best 40th birthday party, he pulled off the surprise of the century!

He and my parents had been planning for months to surprise me with a visit!  You see, I've 

been in Australia for 15 years and while my Mom has been out to visit three times, Dad

hadn't made it yet.  I was beginning to think he might never come.  The details of 

how it all came about are many so I won't share.  But on Easter Sunday, I

was getting ready to leave for church and the garage door opened. 

It was just the kids and I home as Rory had gone to play

guitar in the early service (or so I thought)!  He 

had actually driven the two hour round trip

to and from the the airport to pick

them up.  When I went out 

to see why the door

was open,

I saw

Mom and

Dad getting out 

of the car!  It was the

most amazing surprise!  I 

ran to them and immediately 

began sobbing.  I was overwhelmed,

in a good way.  My sister Ellie didn't know 

that they were coming either.  She was at the church

service I had planned to go to, so we hung out at home and 

then surprised her at the end of that service!  It was so much fun

to not only be surprised but then be able to be part of surprising someone

else!  The photo above is just after we surprised her.  Mom and Dad stayed for 

two WONDERFUL weeks.  Of course, we had nothing planned so we just decided what

we wanted to do as the days arrived.  We did some touristy things, but mostly we 

did what we all love most ... spent time together.  Cooking, eating, talking,

playing cards and board games.  Lots and lots of cards and board games.

The weather wasn't great.  It rained a lot but it didn't matter.  We 

still got to do breakfast at the beach ... we did it under cover

and had no problem getting parking or a BBQ!  We 

watched a movie or two.  We went to an indoor

play place.  Had scones with jam and cream

in a tiny little cafe while the rain poured

down around us!  I loved every

minute of their visit and as

with every time we must

part, I look forward

to the next 

time!

xx

on turning forty

this is me ... on my 40th birthday 

my husband planned the most amazing and fun party for me

he had the idea and then he let a couple of our friends unleash their 

creative genius on our house!  it looked amazing.  the photos don't do it justice

AT ALL.  i'll try to explain what's going on ...

i had been sequestered basically the whole day.  part of the day was spent shopping and having lunch with my Mom (who was here for two weeks but that is another story!)  and sister and then the afternoon was spent inside the house (curtains drawn!)  with family and friends who were preparing the food. when i was led out to the party, this is what i saw!  rory was behind the 'bar' (his workbench) in our garage!!

here's the view from across the street ...

this is inside the gazeebo that you see to the right in the photo above.

thanks to our amazing friend who lives next door (he is the fairy light king 

and did all the lighting for the night!) there was a path that led from the front yard to

the back yard ...

and when you got to the back, this is what was there!  more lights.  more food.  more people!

here's a shot of the inside of the garage.  i can't believe how they transformed it!

absolutely incredible!!  there were tall tables all around the room with mason jar tea 

lights... i think there were like 8 tables.  so cool.

one of the cool things Rory did on the night was to make the cocktail he created for me.
he and our friends had been working on this for who knows how long
and it was perfect!!  it was all the things i love.  they even
infused vodka with cinnamon for the drink!  i can't
remember all that was in it but it was the
cinnamon vodka, dr pepper,
maraschino cherry 
juice, ice cubes
with red
hots frozen inside.
and i can't remember what
else!  he did write it down though
and i am hoping he will make me another
one soon!!  mmmmmm .... here is the write up
he did to describe my cocktail, which he named "the Bon Qui Qui"

the night was fun.

i loved having so many of my

favorite people there to celebrate the

big four-oh with me! 

i especially loved how much Rory thought and planned 

about what i would love.  he got it ALL RIGHT.

every single bit!

thanks sweetie.

{music} Corner View

I wrote a post just yesterday about having been away from blogging for a little bit.  Actually, about not having time for many of the things that I love doing and how I was going to start making time to do them.  I posted photos of the baby black swans in our lake that I made the time to go take photos of.  This afternoon, I made the time to sit at the piano and play ...

Perfect for this Corner View theme!

**

Corner View was created by Jane at Spain Daily and is now hosted by Francesca.  It is bloggers from all over the world, posting photos of a specific weekly theme.  To join, just post to your own blog and then link up over at Francesca's Corner View for the week.  Then, visit the other Corner Views ... that's my favorite part !  Seeing the interpretations of the themes, visiting different cultures, learning something new !

{forever}

i can't believe that it has been over a month since i last posted to either of my blogs!

i miss it.  actually there are lots of things i miss at the moment.  like reading.

and taking photos with my big camera.  and soaking in a hot bath.  and

cooking for pleasure, not just to feed my family.  and playing piano.

and painting.  oh, how i miss painting.  and crafting.  but lately

i just haven't had time to do any of these things.  is it the 

new puppy?  is it the busyness of two kids and 

their after school activities?  is it the lack

of space in my brain because it's so

full of everything else? i am

not sure, but i mean to

figure it out.  you

see, i'm not

one 

to just

say, oh well,

this is just how it

is ... sure, i have to say 

that for a time because some

times it is just a busy week or two, 

but i refuse to say it forever and just give

up on the things that bring such pleasure to my life.
the other day, i was driving home from somewhere and out
of the corner of my eye, as we drove past the lake, i noticed baby
black swans! i decided to jump on this opportunity!  i stopped home to
grab my camera and turned around and drove back.  i took somewhere near
100 photos of these beauties and i felt so invigorated! i intend to make time for such
things much more regularly! don't worry, i'm not going to post all the photo i took but here
are a few of my favorites ...