Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Happy {Australia} Day

A friend sent me an email with this in it. I laughed and laughed. I guess I am officially an Australian ! Although ... really that makes me a Spanish Born, American Bred, All Over The Planet Raised, Aussie Transplant ! Yeah, I can live with that.

See how many of these you non-Aussies 'get' ... without googling them !

You know you're Australian if …

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.

8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".

10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".

11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".

19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".

35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".

43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

Happy Australia Day !!


Kayren January 26, 2010 at 1:26 PM  

I'm desperately curious to find out what all of these mean. Must we google, or will you tell us in a later post?

You know, our nickel and penny are bigger than our dime.

One out of 43 isn't too bad.

Off to catch up on your other posts now!

Mari January 26, 2010 at 1:36 PM  

You lost me at #1!
Happy Australia Day!

Sabba and Nanny January 26, 2010 at 4:17 PM  

Not many. 5,6,7,8,9 (I know not to say "Mel-born"), 10 never heard of Penwith, 20, 30 you seem to share this understanding with the folks from New Jersey, 34 (at least I know what ANZAC stands for), 41 migrants are immigrants?

and 24 as a language and spelling maven, I really don't get why the labor in Australian Labor Party is not "spelt" with a "u". Is that word a "migrant" from the USA?!

Kari January 27, 2010 at 2:34 AM  

Your list cracked me up! Being a neighbor to your Downunder I totally get the list.
Happy Aussie Day!

Liz M. January 27, 2010 at 3:43 AM  

I know the thong one! You Assies are weird, yet lovable. Happy A Day.

Kath January 27, 2010 at 4:07 AM  

Well, if I wondered before, I certainly do not now, I am NOT Australian!!! Do they have courses in this language? I think I knew 2! Happy Australia Day to you! Were there fireworks? (do you say fireworks in Australian?!)

jane January 27, 2010 at 5:32 AM  

huh!?! happy day!

Keren January 28, 2010 at 9:19 AM  

Ha! 43 out of 43. It cracks me up that even though Kylie is such a common name we all know who it means. It's been great to find a blog I enjoy that's written here in Oz. Thank you. Keren

Mrs. Wallace January 29, 2010 at 6:07 AM  

I thought of you today (specifically because of #15) when I was reading my deposition. I read all about the Ford Lackawanna plant...anyway, just wanted to let you know I thought of you! :-) LOVE YA

HelenThura January 31, 2010 at 7:27 PM  

I couldn't stop cracking myself up reading this!

Tessa February 4, 2010 at 5:59 PM  

Hey Bo.... You can rate as a dinky di Ausie, true blue shiela becuse even if you don't subscribe to these articles of faith, you atleast know them. C'mon Aussie girl!

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